A Girl Named Mystery

Yeah I took it down
I do plan on putting it back up when I've got a little more. I'll probably pick it up again around March because I assume I'll be done with Vigilante by then. So come back around then

Overall good, but I found a couple little things.

“You did good kid.” -- I dunno why, but this just doesn't seem like something she would say. Maybe changing it to "kiddo" or something would help, but usually "kid" would be said by a man, not a woman. Maybe its just me.

My act lasted around seven minutes but took countless hours of practice. -- I really like the second part of the sentence. I dunno why, I just thought I'd point that out.

Maybe give a little bit more detail about her performance. No need to, just some extra detail would be nice. (I suggest jumping on a trampoline, doing a flip and a twist in the air while going over the elephant, and landing on the ground in a perfect position, knees bent, smiling, and maybe a strand of hair or two across her face for effect. )

Great opening sentence.

And last thing: Is Peanut the elephant? Or a human in the act? I'm assuming the elephant, but still. You never know...

But overall it was pretty good.

*Puts post in reply bin*

*opens up reply bin and squeals with glee at such a good and helpful review*

Thank you! And I agree, kiddo certainly does sound better. I was having a hard time with her performance just because the last time I saw a circus I act I was like 7.

And yeah Peanuts is the elephant. I suppose I could make that more clear

I should have more tonight. I'm trying to write every day so we'll see