The Hushed Puppy Society

Taken down, sorry.

Mm, I think we have a bit of the same writing style. x3 Mine starts with dialogue, too. ^^

As I was reading the beginning dialogue, before I even saw any part after that, I had a feeling it was going to be some sort of kidnapping ordeal. If that's what you were going for, then alright, but maybe, if that wasn't what you were going for, like.. I dunno, but the dialogue just seemed like it was flat-out saying "This dude's gonna steal her baby." I dunno. I like some of the obvious plot revealers myself sometimes, I'm a sucker for those kinds of things, but.. Yeah. xP

Also regarding the beginning dialogue, I just don't see someone handing over their baby so easily. I know she asked questions and such, but it just seemed.. A little unbelievable? Of course, if it were me I'd hand it right over because I hate children. ^^; But yeah.

And, I dunno if it's just me because of something someone told me long ago, but I don't think more than one person's dialogue should be in a paragraph. Just a little hard to read like that.

But, other than that, I think it is pretty good. Excellent grammar, all that. It hooked me in. Can't wait to see the rest of what you got. :3

Alrighty. I fixed what I felt like I should fix. Which was mostly just the opening dialouge. Should be better now. 'Least, I would hope it is.~

I really want to know what people think will happen so far..

It is. ^^

And I already told you what I thought. xD
But apparently, I'm way off. xP

Well I'm intrigued! That's for sure. I have no idea what I think is going to happen though I'm interested to find out. I agreed a little with the girl being handed over a little too easily well unless the man was dressed as a doctor.....then it's believable. I'm thinking these children were captured for some really specific purpose....or those specific children were chosen for a purpose....or both, lol I don't know
Good spelling and grammar though, I didn't notice anything that should be changed
*waits patiently for next chapter*

Haha, you mean the title? xP I'm afraid it gives wayyy more than I want to away, but otherwise, it's fine. xD I'm trying to think of something else, but ehh. Not very good with titles over here. xP
You're sorta-kinda correct. xP You'll have to read to find out though, heh. x3
I'll probably post the next chapter tomorrow.. since it's on my jump drive, which is upstairs, and I'm a lazy bum. xD

Yeah that title. Titles are soo hard for me! I usually have to get way into the book before I think of one.
Woohoo for the sorta kinda correctness lol
Alrighty, *continues to patiently wait*

Taken down, sorry.

Uh oh poor Chief
Pretty interesting so far....i'm still trying to determine whether this society is bad or good