i'm sorry (i'm not okay) **

WARNING: LANGUAGE.

I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.


I never meant for this to happen.


But I'm too weak!
I was never strong to begin with--
I'm just damn good at pretending.


I'm not fucking okay.
I'm not even sane.


How can I be when I have this inside me?


It lurks at the back of my mind...
It tugs...


Whispers...


Please, please someone get it out of my fucking head!


It's not wanted there!


I'm begging you.
Down on my hands and knees.


Please, please, please!
Help me!


There's so much hurt..
So much fucking pain.


I didn't need this.
I didn't ask for this.


Why me? Why?


What made this okay?!


I was just a little girl...


My innocence you devoured, you fucking cowards!
You changed me, you broke me!


I'm broken!
How can I be strong when I'm broken...


I'm so sorry!


I can't do it anymore.
I can't, I can't, I can't.


Please believe me when I say that.

I can't.

Because when they say that time heals all wounds?
They're wrong.


They don't heal. They don't even seal.
They barely scab over...


Physical scars heal.
Mental ones don't.


Goddamnit, why can't anyone else see this?
Look past my mask!


I'm so fucked up and I don't know how to fix it.
How do you fix something that's inside of you?


And it's been inside me for four years...


I'm not strong.
I'm just damn good at pretending.

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SUBJECT: Pain.
Title: I'm Sorry (I'm Not Okay)
This is far more personal than any of you will ever know.

Also I realize it's not exactly poetry. But poetry comes in all shapes and forms...

It is most definitely poetry.

I understand that you feel strongly about the material, but there comes a point at which the swear words just seem like fillers. I tried really hard to like this, but the swearing coupled with the fact that you've written so much gershderned stuff about pain caused by your traumatic past kind of kills the novelty and passion of it in my opinion.

I've got to say I agree with Bibbit 100%.