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Every Time....

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Every Time.... Empty Every Time....

Post by Darklady Sat May 31, 2008 7:03 am

Every time I remember you're leaving,
I die a little inside
Every time I recall the joyous times we had,
and that yoiu won't be there to continue them,
My heart tears in two.
Every time I think of you going,
I want to scream in anguish.
Every time I hear you speak of departing,
I cry in my soul, begging you to stop.
Every time I touch your hand,
I want to stop you from leaving
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Darklady
Writing Whiz

Female
Number of posts : 168
Points :
Every Time.... Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Every Time.... Right_bar_bleue

Points 2.0 : 0
Registration date : 2008-04-13

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Every Time.... Empty Re: Every Time....

Post by carino Sat May 31, 2008 4:45 pm

That's a good poem.
The first couple of lines are a bit cliche, but in the rest of it, you seemed to break away from that.
Oh, and fourth line, you typo'd "you."
You're definitely a powerful writer.
carino
carino
Learned Writer

Female
Number of posts : 56
Age : 31
Points :
Every Time.... Left_bar_bleue0 / 1000 / 100Every Time.... Right_bar_bleue

Points 2.0 : 0
Registration date : 2008-05-22

http://www.carinosblog.blogspot.com

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