Fanfiction-ely drabblicious

I didn't know where to put them, they are drabbles and fanfictions.
What do you think?

Artemis Fowl Based
________________________

I like storms. They hurt.
I can see one now, the clouds block out the sun, reaching high and all powerful into the heavens. The wind laps at the ground, it pushes and pulls, scrambling greedily for anything it can hold. They want it, the clouds and the wind and the hail, they want what lies beneath them. Everything is so perfect, the storm, so quick and fleeting, wants to hang on to this seemingly permanent state. And when they all realize that they can't, and even worse, realize what they crave is as temporary as they are, they destroy it. And I laugh, because that world tries much too hard. They try to put up walls, they try to contain themselves, but in the end the storm wins.
I am safe, I always am. The storm can't attack my world, it's secure and secluded. But I wish it could. I wish that the clouds and the wind and the hail could prove how fragile we are. I wish that they could show us that we aren't any better. Because we put up walls, our walls are stronger, they don't let the storm in, and they don't let me out.

________________________

He stared at his hand, it was bleeding. How odd.
The ice pelted his face, cold and sharp. The crystals gathered on his upturned palm, the red stained the clear blue shards.
It didn't hurt. How odd. The cold numbed the cut considerably. Though, in the back of his mind he knew that when he warmed up it would flow with dangerous strength.
But it wasn't what he was really concerned about. He was savouring the burning feeling that turned his lips blue and froze his eyelashes, making them stick together. He couldn't summon the energy to open them. He just lay in his self-imposed darkness.
This was a first, actually. He had never been this cold. He had never been so frozen that he felt hot. The water in the skin of his thighs and cheeks froze and expanded. He clenched and opened his hands, the skin on them protested. Strange.
The wet soaked into his clothing, and froze again when he didn't move. The heat seeped from his body, seeking a better companion that would hold onto it longer. He reached for it, halfheartedly, but didn't ask it to come back.
He didn't even want it back.

____________________________________



CAUTION! Language in this one


Run.
Oh God, run.
Darn, it's coming.
You created the earthquake.
And now you have to deal with it.
You thought that you were safe. You thought that you were far enough away.
You have never been more wrong in your life.
It's coming, it's crushing.
Breath!
Air, not water you moron.
Push back, kick!
Do something. Anything.
Gods, fight it.
You should have run faster, harder.
crap. If there was only anybody left.
You sank all of their boats.
Look what you did. Look at all you've accomplished.
I hope that you're proud.
You deserve everything that you've got.

___________________________________________________

Harry Potter Based


His shadow stretched across the street. It seemed detached, a separate entity, not part of him. Or a deity of some sort, looming menacingly. A personal God, judging him. He is found wanting.
He pulled out the device. Click, the glow of the first lamp extinguished. He imagined that each light had its own sound. This one slurped satisfyingly.
Click, click. Squotch, wish.
Eleven lights, eleven sounds.
One more.
His shadow was even larger. It craned towards the darkness around him.
Click.
Silence. The black cradled him. He faced Number Four Privet Drive, blind.
Sometimes it's nice not to see.

______________________________________________________________
The first one is 200 words.
The rest are exactly 100 words.
What do you think?

I like it Black Opal. You should enter one of the sections into the poetry contest but you have to like clean the words up a little. If you do that it will be really good for the contest!!!

OliviaofBolivia wrote:I like it Black Opal. You should enter one of the sections into the poetry contest but you have to like clean the words up a little. If you do that it will be really good for the contest!!!

Yeah, you should! Unfortunately, my dad won't let me offer shipped prizes. I can only give you points... But anways, they're good! I've read the first one. You posted it on FG. I like the Harry Potter one best, though... But they're all good!

Drabbles are poetry?
Sweet!
Here's some more that need Beta'ing before I post them on FF.net.
Since this is a writer's club forum, I thought it would work.
Are T-Rated fics allowed? These are about the sins and virtues (there's more to come, eventually 14).
It's just, one of them is about lust. It's not a citrus, but it has some observations about the female body.
Nothing that you wouldn't see in a PG-13 movie though. There's as bit of an innuendo.
I won't post it yet.
They're AF based too, and they are practice drabbles, so harsh crit is encouraged. Guess the characters. It's kind of obvious.
Anyways, here they are:

_____________________________________
Gula

Oh, how it shone.
A brutish looking man loaded more and more onto the boat. His grunts of effort echoed throughout the night.
He was tempted to help the servant, it would get the work done faster, he could have more of it and sooner.
But no, he had to appear lordly to the employees. Showing weakness would only limit his supply.
His hands itched for it.
He needed more.
Hurry up.
The night air clung to him, his arms prickled in the cold.
But he knew that warmth lay right in front of him.
Warmth never lost its value.

Temperance

Stop now while there's no danger.
Don't reach any farther and you won't get lost.
It's easier to moderate everything.
Don't succumb to it and it won't hurt you.
Stay stoic and calm. You are a wall and you repel everything.
Lose everything of value, lose all of your vices.
That's what it takes to succeed.
You are a rock, you are a fortress.
Remember what it was like before, feel that pain.
Reject it.
You are as numb as space, and just as empty.
Love nothing too much.
Love no one too much.
And you are fit to guard.

Acedia

Why should I move?
Answer me that. I see no reason to get off of this bed.
I'm happy here.
I'm on my honeymoon.
I love my new husband dearly.
And you are interfering with our time together.
Didn't you hear me the first time?
I shall stay here and enjoy myself.
He's so amazing.
He brought me flowers yesterday.
I set them in that vase.
That vase over there, can't you see?
Don't pretend that you don't see them.
They make me happy.
If you don't believe me then you'll have to leave.
I love him.
And I'm staying.


Diligence

I like being perfect.
Everybody loves you, everybody wants you.
To be perfect at your job, now that's even better.
It's not easy.
It takes work.
I work day and night. I file paper work, I stay overtime.
I sacrifice everything.
Because completeness requires martyrdom.
There are those who try to ruin it.
Those who try to destroy what I've made.
They complain about bigotry.
It's too sublime.
They work against me for all their lives.
I work to demolish them with all my being.
Perfection is the lack of imperfection.
Their deficiency is a blemish on everything I do.

Superbia

He types angrily, the keys clank heavily.
To him it is never enough. Not the praise, not the money. It's worth nothing.
He deserves more, so much more.
The letters unfold across the screen, the codes are writing themselves. He can't control them.
He has a gift, one that they blatantly ignore, one they take for granted.
They don't even realize the magnitude of his power, they don't understand what he can do.
He has them under his thumb.
The computer clicks, it is finished.
He will show them.
They will understand his worth.
He will be loved at last.

Humility

We're all insignificant, really.
We're gone in the blink of an eye, and in the great scheme of things we don't really make a difference.
I am inconsequential.
I couldn't make her stay.
We're all ignorant.
We know nothing of other people, of other planets, or even of ourselves.
I am benighted.
I never saw him coming. He nearly destroyed me.
We're all lowly.
We consider ourselves the highest species; look what we do to our world.
I am common.
I couldn't outsmart him, I couldn't defeat him, and I couldn't even win him over.
I used to like pie.


Chastity

He couldn't have her.
She made sure he knew that.
She always dressed right, she never showed too much skin.
Her curls were groomed to perfection, left down in a respectable manner.
He knew that no matter how much she flirted, smiled or laughed that she would always retain her virtue.
He knew that she was strong and brave. He knew that she would never give in.
It wouldn't matter if he gave her candy and flowers. It wouldn't matter if he took her on long walks on the beach.
He couldn't have her.
Now, if only he wanted her.

I really only think it's Pg rated, not PG-13. And, yeah, PG-13 is okay. Just don't do anything R rated or above. They were all good. You used a lot of comlicated words that I couldn't understand though... And I'm horrible at guessing characters. You'd have to tell me. I think the "Temperance" one was Butler, and the "Superbia" one was Jon Spiro. But I can't be sure... But they were good! 110% good!

Oh. My. God. Those, whatever they are, are the best thing I've ever read! Keep it up, you might be able to sell these on Ebay.

Thanks guys.
I didn't post the PG-13 one.
Here it is, if it is too racy just delete it.

Luxuria

He couldn't help but follow the curve of her leg, the rise of her breasts.
Her eyes, her ears, her sharpness, they all called to him.
He wanted to feel her. He'd be happy to even graze her hand.
But he could never be satisfied by touch
It was wrong.
Or at the very least impossible.
It was hard
It was hard not to stare.
It was hard not to want.
It was hard not to have.
It was hard to ignore reality.
It was hard to resist someone so black widow pretty.
Oh Gods, it was just too hard.

____________________________________

As for characters, in case anybody wants to know, it goes:

Artemis Fowl Sr.
Butler (You guessed it)
Angeline Fowl
Ark Sool
Foaly (just playing on the fact that he always wants more, a little dark)
Minerva
Minerva again (I don't know why I was so negative towards Minerva. Maybe I should try a happy one)
And then the PG-13 one is Artemis.

Thanks for the reviews guys, crit is ALWAYS appreciated.

Ok, a little over-board with the PG-13 one. A smidge to graphic for the younger users. I like it, though.

I dont think that anything needs to be edited. I think it's all within boundries.

I think they are awsome.

Thanks guys.
Is it just me or has this forum been a lot less active lately?
People don't seem to be reviewing as much.
Anyway, on a scale of my best writing to my worst writing, 10 being my best and 1 being my worst, how would you rank this drabble:


Ira

He was a powerful man.
The scent of sweat and urine makes my stomach churn.
He grunts and whines, I scramble for the object in his hands.
I fight revulsion.
He bites me, drawing blood. I steal his weapon.
It’s a pencil, the metal end is sharpened .
Nurses swarm, wrapping him in his straight jacket like a baby in swaddling clothes.
My hand stings.
On the wall there is a carving of a boy in impossible detail.
The boy's eyes are X's.
Around his neck there’s a noose.
I shudder with horror.
And I run out of the room.
______________________________

I am almost definitely going to change it.
It's for my sins and virtues series.
Harygz, your input is especially welcome, since you volunteered to be my beta.
I think that I'm going to change it.
I don't like this one.

To be completely Frank, It's not bad but you've done better. It just didn't give me enough feeling. No Offense.