The Destruction of Mathematics

So... Yeah. xD I decided to make a play about numbers (inspired by the count to 50 threads, o'course) and this is just all in fun and humor, so. xD The title I just came up; feel free to make suggestions. Uh. Act One is finished. I'll make the other acts as well and post them once they're finished too. So... Enjoy. ^^

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Cast:

Zero - the evil number. He tries to take over the World of Numbers (otherwise known as Mathematics).

One - the ditsy number. A little conceited and self-obsessed.

Two - the funny number. Always tries to put a smile on the other numbers’ faces. Close friend with One.

Three - the easily frightened number. Secretly likes Two.

Four - the angry number. Likes being by himself.

Five - the depressed number. Wants friends, but he’s awful at making them.

Six - the optimistic number. She tries to stop fights between the other numbers.

Seven - the all around nice number. He believes in treating others nicely.

Eight - the secretive number. He’s in the closet but secretly likes Five and Seven.

Nine - the outgoing number. Doesn’t care what the other numbers think about her. Friends with Six.

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Three: Guys! Guys! Guys! (freaking out)

Seven: Chill, Three! What’s wrong?

Three: Z…z…z…ZERO!

Two: What about that doughnut? (laughs)

Three: H-he’s back! And he’s serious this time!

Four: Eh, quit your moaning.

Two: Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the inequality.

Four: (rolls eyes) Hilarious, Two.

Six and Nine enter with pi.

Six: Mm, this is delicious!

Nine: Isn’t it? Infinity’s pi is the best.

Three: How can you two eat pi at a time like this!?

Nine: …What kind of time is it? I always have time for pi!

Four: Apparently Zero is back or something, according to little Miss Crybaby over here.

Seven: Now, now, Four. Be nice.

Six: Yeah, Four. We should all be nice to each other, eh? (smiles)

Four: You softies make me sick.

Three: Listen, guys! Wait, where is everyone? Eight? Five? One?

Five: (looks up from dark corner) Oh, I was here. J-just… Thinking. I’m sorry. I heard every word you said, though.

One and Eight come staggering over.

One: Hey guys. What’s happenin’? Sorry we’re late to this little gathering here; me and Eight were at the party of the year.

Seven: The one hosted by Minus?

One: Yep, that’s the one! Totes exclusive, don’t you know.

Two: And I was not invited? It takes TWO to tango after all. (nudges One)

Four: Kill me now. PLEASE.

One: Sorry, babe. You know I love you! But you know how Minus is. Only after the pretty numbers.

Two: Minus is a very negative person anyway; not really my kind of crowd.

Eight: (stares at Seven)

Seven: Well hey there, Eight.

Eight: Hey, Seven…

Two: What’s wrong, Eight? Scared? …OH, I KNOW WHY. Because seven eight nine! Haha, I don’t blame you.

Nine: (still eating pi with Six) Nah, I’m still here.

Eight: …Yeah. So, what’s going on?

Three: (sighs) GUYS. Zero is plotting his domination of Mathematics! We have to stop him!

Five: I’m all for stopping a bad guy, honestly, but… Aren’t there professionals? Or something… (shies away)

Seven: Three has a point. We should take matters into our own hands.

Six: Agreed.

Nine: Okay, but what makes you think we can do this?

One: Well you guys have me, and I’m pretty amazing!

Two: Watch it, fathead.

Three: Two, as much as I love your jokes and how amazing I think y--

Four: Aw, the crybaby’s in love.

Nine: (hits Four) Leave her alone. Go take some happy pills or something. Whatever you angry numbers do to feel good.

Four: (mutters) Let’s just get on with this mission or whatever.

Three: As I was saying… Right now is no time for jokes. We need to hurry before--

Zero appears in magical shroud of smoke.

Zero: Aw, I’m so popular! All you guys can do is talk about me. Is this my fan club? (smirks)

Four: Uh, yeah, you wish.

Seven: Zero, where did it all go wrong? You used to be a nice number…

Zero: Yeah, used to. Main word there, genius.

Nine: Wow, awesome comeback.

Zero: Yeah, okay, shut up, Nine!

Nine: Aw, still cold about when I dumped you? GET OVER IT.

Zero: I never needed you, hun. Yeah you got a nice curve and all, but Eighteen was twice the number you are.

Nine: Eighteen? HAH! That freak? Wow. Low, even for you.

Zero: Whatever. (looks at Five) What about you, pipsqueak? You’ve been a whole lot of quiet over there. Protractor got your tongue?

Five: U-uh no… Mr. Zero sir. Just… Nothing to say.

Eight: (glances at Five) Leave him alone, Zero.

Zero: Eh, why do you care?

Eight: (looks at ground) No reason…

Six: C’mon guys, let’s stop this nonsense!

Zero: Shut up! (slaps Six) You silly little numbers aren’t going to get in the way of my vision!

OhmygodIlovedit.

You've even got some old number jokes in there. I like Two. Four sounds like an emo.

"I never needed you, hun. Yeah you got a nice curve and all, but Eighteen was twice the number you are."

Brilliant. (:


Question: Is Eight gay?

Aha, thanks. x3

Yes, he is. xD

Ah, okay. Had to make sure, since he likes Five and Seven, who are both guys. (:

Good luck getting one of them Eight!

Lol at the pi part

Alright, so here is Act Two... A bit shorter than Act 1, but a little more... dramatic, per say? Not too much action, but eh, it contributes, so. xP

By the way, I made a few mistakes in this and I - hopefully - fixed all of them, but if you find any typos, please let me know
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Additional Cast:

One Hundred - the mayor of Number City.

Fifty - One Hundred’s son. Heir to the mayor’s throne.


Nine: (sighs)

Six: Something wrong?

Nine: It’s just… Never mind.

Six: (grabs Nine by shoulders) You can tell me anything. Now, what’s wrong?

Nine: It’s just… I never stopped loving him.

Six: Who?

Nine: Even though I did break up with him…

Six: Zero?

Nine: …Yes! (sobs against Six’s shoulder) Seven was right; Zero used to be a nice number. But I was being selfish. He was so nice and kind to everyone but all I cared about was my popularity and everyone else didn’t really like him so I dumped him all for the sake of my reputation.

Six: (hugs Nine) Maybe if you talked to him…

Nine: There’s no use. It’s over. He’ll never take me back now.


One: Doesn’t this dress compliment my denominator?

Four: Sure. Whatever. Can we go now?

One: Not yet, Mr. Pushy. I still have money to spend.

Four: …Why did you drag me into this?

Two: Because you need to live a little, Four.

One: (not paying attention) How does this hat look?

Four: It would look better… SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT! (grabs One)

One: Ow ow ow! Stop it!

Two: Hey! (pries Four from One) Don’t be irrational, Four!

Four: (breathing heavily) I’ll be waiting in the car. (leaves the mall)

Two: You okay, One?

One: Yeah but… HE MESSED UP MY HAIR. I’LL KILL HIM.

Two: Calm down, drama queen.


Three: Are you guys sure about this? I mean, he’s the mayor; he probably has other things on his plate…

Seven: True, but this is his city, and he needs to know what’s going on within it. Plus, this could affect the whole planet. The more numbers who know about it, the more prepared we’ll all be to defend ourselves against Zero. Who knows who’s on his side…

Five: (nods) Seven is right.

Eight: (glances at Five, then at Seven) I agree.

Three: (sighs) If you say so.

Eight: Just don’t worry about it, Three. Everything will be fine.

Seven: Listen to Eight, Three. He speaks the truth.

Eight: (looks down at feet, blushing slightly)

Three: Well I’m sorry; I can’t help but feel nervous. I’ve never really spoken to the mayor before…

Seven: He’s a number, just like the rest of us. No reason to be afraid. Everyone ready?

Five, Eight, and Three nod.

Seven: Alrighty then. (knocks on door to One Hundred’s office) Hello, Mayor sir? May we speak with you?

One Hundred: Of course! Come in!

Seven, Eight, Five, and Three enter One Hundred’s office.

One Hundred: Nice to see you, my citizens. (waves hand over at Fifty) This is my son, and your future mayor, Fifty.

Fifty: Hello, everyone. Nice to make your acquaintance.

Seven, Five, Eight, and Three greet Fifty in turn.

One Hundred: So, what brings you all here?

Seven: Nothing good, I am afraid. Zero is plotting to take over the world of Mathematics, and we are going to try to stop him. However, we figured we should let you know, as you are the mayor and such, and to spread the word around so everyone can be prepared.

One Hundred: Oh my! This is a disaster!

Fifty: It is! What are we going to do?

Three: You two don’t worry about it; you guys are probably busy as it is. We can handle it.

Fifty: Are you sure?

Eight: (nods) We’re sure.

Seven: Our friends are also going to help; they’re just busy at the moment.

One Hundred: Well then, I’ll leave this up to you guys. But if you need help, don’t hesitate to ask me for any.

Seven: Thank you, Mayor. We will not let you down.

Fifty: Good luck, you guys.

Seven, Eight, Three, and Five meet up with the rest of the crew at Times Tables Square.

Seven: Alright guys, the mayor is counting on us. What’s our first move?

I'm starting to like Four, even though he's such a meanie. (:

There are some mistakes. Not big ones, just little ones, like a missing comma, or a word that makes the entire sentence confusing...

I could edit that for you, if you wish.

The missing comma things... You have any examples? Sometimes I leave commas out if I want to make the sentence be like, spoken faster or something. And for the confusing word thing too - examples?

My mom and I like Four too. x3

Later that day, after Zero’s confrontation with the other numbers, after Zero disappeared to take care of some evil business.

Oh, never mind the commas. I can see where you would do that.

Hehe, who wouldn't?

Aha, the double after. That's just.. How it came out. xD

Four haters, maybe. xP

... Okay?

Bleh. Bad Four haters. I swear, Four will come to your house at night and CUT CHU. (:

Like... I dunno. I kinda wanted it to sound weird; like I imagine a somewhat humorous silly narrator narrating this, so.

HE WILL. And I am going to make a back story for Four. x3

Ah, I see. (:

GO FOUR! YOU CAN DO IT!

Oh, wait, Four doesn't like cheering does he?

*flat voice*

Go Four. You can do it.

So, I finally finished Act Three. Sorry it took forever. e.e; I was really stuck, because it was supposed to reveal some things, and... Well, it's short. It's a filler, really, but it has some dramatic stuff in it. Please enjoy. (:

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Seven: Alright guys, we need to find somebody who is willing to sell us a Divisor-Inator. Eighty’s Improper Warehouse should have one in stock. Let’s go.

Nine: Wait! Won’t that kill Zero?

Seven: I’m afraid so.

Nine: We can’t kill him!

Four: Pipe down, Nine. It’s the only choice we have. Or, would you rather he destroy Mathematics?

Nine: No, it’s just… (sighs) Never mind.

Seven: Four, be nice.

Four: MAYBE I DON’T WANT TO BE NICE. (storms away)

Three: Four, come back!

Seven: Now, now, Three. Let him cool off.

Two: His personality is too much, even FOUR me.

One: (jabs Two with elbow) Knock it off.

Two: (mutters) Fine.

Seven: Four just needs his space. However, we are still on a mission, so let’s get going.


Four: Those stupid numbers. Trying to save the day, but no, if it kills someone… (sits against wall) Kill someone…

Four: (coming home from school) I’m home!

Silence.

Four: Mom? Dad? (walks into kitchen; spots Sixteen’s limp body on the floor) MOM? (rushes over to her body) Mom, what happened?

Sixteen groaned; blood was pouring from her wounds.

Sixteen: (in hushed, ragged breaths) Four… They got us.

Four: Who? What happened? Where’s Dad?

Sixteen: Listen to me, Four. You need to get out of here before they get you too.

Four: No! I’m not leaving you!

Sixteen: Four, you have to. Please honor this last request. Please, my son.

Four: Last request? No! Mom, you can’t die! Please, hang in there. I’ll call the--

Sixteen: Four, it’s no use. I’m well on my way to death. Just get out of here.

Four: (beginning to cry) I can’t leave you here! Mom, please! Mom!

A banging on the door was heard.

Sixteen: Four, run! Just do it!

Four: (looks toward the trembling door, then back at mother) But--

Sixteen: Go!

Door breaks open, revealing the murderers. A group of numbers stood there, dressed completely in black.

Four: (whispers) I’m going.

Four ran through the house, toward the back exit, tears streaming down his face. The group of numbers weren’t so far behind him, but at the moment, none of it mattered. He would never see his parents again…

Four: (shakes head) No… It’s over. It’s in the past. There’s no use worrying about it now.

Poor Four. :c

FOUR. I SOWWY. I GO GIVE YOU A HUG.

... Wait...

FOUR'S A BAD NUMBER! IT MEANS DEATH!

But... O.O

When is the next act coming out. I love the story. I feel bad for Four... And nine. I need to know what happens next!

Aha, Act Four is still being thought of. xP I'll get to it soon, though; glad you like TDOM so far. ^^

Can't wait! I'm probably going to get all my friends to read it. I'm sure they would like it.

Aw, thanks. :3
I'll try to work on it this weekend. ^^

Cool. I got my friend and my mom to read it. It think they both liked it!

Aw, tell them I said thanks for reading. ^^

So, at school today, I did think of a new twist (or twists? It's like two, but they're somewhat related, so... yeah) so I will definitely work on it this weekend. (:

Here is Act Four! 8D I started it and completed it today. ^^ It's a bit longer than the acts have been lately, and the ending... Well, maybe it'll come as a surprise, maybe it won't. But I can assure you, this act may be the best one yet.

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Seven: (holding Divisor-Inator in hands) I hope this works.

Three: (nods) It should, but if it doesn’t, then what will we do?

Seven: (sighs) I’m honestly not sure, Three. I haven’t planned that far ahead yet.

Six and Nine come into room with ice cream.

Six: (sits down on beanbag chair) It was awfully nice of the Mayor to give us this place. The ice cream is delicious!

Nine: (sits down next to Six) It is good.

Six: What’s wrong?

Nine: What? Nothing. It’s nothing. (looks over at Seven and Three) You guys should get something to eat, you know.

Seven: I was just about to, Nine. (stands up)

Three: I don’t think I could eat…

Seven: Nonsense, Three! You need your energy for this mission. I’ll bring you back something. (walks into kitchen area)

Nine: Why can’t you eat, Three?

Three: I’m too nervous. I just wish this was all some bad dream.

Nine: (sighs and stares sadly at ice cream) Me too, Three, me too…

Six: I hate to see you like this, Nine.

Nine: (mumbles) Sorry…

Six: You don’t have to apologize. I just want you to be happy.

Nine: I’m okay, Six. Just eat your ice cream before it melts.

Six: (glances at Nine’s mostly untouched ice cream) You too.

Two, Eight, and Seven come into the room.

Two: This is the best chicken ever! (bites into another wing)

Eight: (nods in agreement) It is.

Seven: (walks over to Three) Here, Three. (hands her a salad)

Three: Thank you, Seven. I’ll try to eat, I guess.

Seven: Don’t try; do it. We all need our strength. (sits beside Two and Eight)

Eight: (glances around nervously) So… How’s the spaghetti, Seven?

Seven: It is exceptionally good, Eight! This is your own recipe, you say?

Eight: (blushes) Er, yes, it is, Seven. Thank you.

Seven: (smiles) You are an amazing cook.

Eight: (looks away) Thanks.

Two: (fumbles with remote) Stupid nonworking technology! (throws remote at wall) You’d think the Mayor would give us a headquarters with a good television. BUT NO.

Six: We are not here to watch TV, Two.

Two: I’m well aware, but it would be nice.

Seven: Be grateful, Two. The Mayor didn’t have to do this for us. (takes another bite of spaghetti) In fact, I think you’re making up for Four’s not being here.

Two: Oh, please, Seven. I’m not half as bad as Four. I’m just saying, some TV would be nice. I’m missing my favorite show right now!

Nine: (rolls eyes) Because that’s so important… (finishes ice cream; stands up) I need to be alone right now. (leaves room)

Six: (sighs) She’s really upset.

Seven: I know. I hate seeing her like this, but the mission must be done.

Eight: I agree with Seven. We can’t jeopardize the safety of Mathematics just to make her happy. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the truth.

Six: Yes, I know. You two are right. I mean, I guess she’ll get over this somehow…

Three: I feel for her, I really do. I think, after this whole ordeal is over, we all should do something together. Get her mind off things.

Six: That’s not a bad idea, Three. I’m sure she’d appreciate it.

One and Five enter the room.

One: (sips on smoothie) This is amazing. (sits beside Two)

Five: (sits beside Three) This ramen of mine is pretty good, too.

Two: Wow, you talk?

Five: (sighs and continues to eat ramen)

One: What, no TV?

Two: Finally, someone who understands! (leans over and takes a sip of One’s smoothie) Strawberry?

One: Well of course. And now that you got my straw covered in your spit, give me some chicken.

Two: Hey, I don’t mind. I can share, unlike some people. (jabs with elbow) Here. (hands her chicken)

One: Hey, I share.

Two: Rarely.

Three: One, we were talking about us all doing something together after this mission to help cheer Nine up. You in? (turns to Five) What about you?

One: That might be fun. Sure. I’ll need to shop for something to wear first, though.

Five: I guess so.

Three: (smiles) Great!

Two: It will be fun! I’ll be there. And I sure do hope it’ll cheer Nine up; Zero isn’t worth being upset over.

One: Yeah, he’s a loser.

Seven: You guys can trash talk Zero all you want, but that won’t solve our problem. Eat up, everyone. We have a lot of work to do.


Four: They don’t even understand. They never will.

Zero: Life’s not fair, is it?

Four: (jumps in surprise) What are you doing here!?

Zero: Just walking around. (shrugs) Answer my question.

Four: Well, no, it’s not fair, but who doesn’t know that?

Zero: The numbers who haven’t known misery and suffering like we do. What did you do to deserve such a horrible past, Four?

Four: I… I don’t know.

Zero: Nothing. Exactly. I know you think of me as the bad guy like everyone else, but we’re more alike than you think.

Four: (glares at Zero) How so?

Zero: I suffered too. I still suffer. Just like you do. You miss your parents, right?

Four: How do you know that?

Zero: (grins) I have connections, Four. I know you didn’t deserve that cruel fate. Wouldn’t it be nice to get back at the world for causing you such grief?

Four: I guess so…

Zero: You guess? Don’t you want the world to feel what you felt? Don’t you want revenge?

Four: I do want revenge.

Zero: Then join me, Four. The others don’t understand you, like you said. But I do. We can take over the world together. (extends hand)

Four: (stares at hand, contemplating decision) I’m in. (grabs Zero’s hand and stands up)

Zero: (smirks) Excellent.

WOO, FIRST TO COMMENT ON THE NEW ACT. 8D

Ahaa. Two is half of Four.. I GET IT. d:
And 'solve our problems'.. xD
You're so punny, Holleh.

..AND BAD FOUR.

CONGRATS. ^^

xD Aha, like I said, I didn't even write those on purpose at first.

I know, but he has reasons. xP